I am in a pop choir and we are learning a piece called “Winter Song”….it is beautiful, the first time I heard it (yesterday) I cried and cried as I learned my words and the alto part….
I haven’t really cried much throughout this whole divorce thing. I am like “why am I crying now? its over”….
as I googled around late last night in divorce recovery sites I realized….I am mourning. BAM….it hit me….so much more makes sense now, the anger, the functionality of getting it all “done” is giving way to sadness, acknowledging the real loss that is divorce….loss, fear… sadness……
music heals, so do tears….now I understand.
1. Spending the grocery money on cut flowers
2. Tearing up when you see happy couples, lowering your eyes to avoid them.
3. Drawing a tepid cynical warmth from over used comforting self help phrases.
4. Being happy in your head and sad in your heart.
5. Sitting alone in restaurants chatting with your iPhone
6. Not being invited to Couples dinner parties
7. Feeling unloved and unlovable.
8. Putting on a brave face, girdling your loins and “getting out there” to realize that there is actually nothing out there…..
Meh, this drizzled windy crap of weather we are having here on Vancouver Island is making me super depressed……some one just flip that switch and turn off this god awful weather!